Beneath the
header to these diary pages is my promise to share with you the triumphs, trials and
tribulations of work-in-progress.
After
each modelling session I send a little note of thanks to the model. My last
session with Pearl was no exception. Pearl once again gave her body and soul
while I struggled to break new ground.
Pearl’s
response to my note read:
I really
appreciate your compliment and I know you don't need me to tell you how great
an artist you are. The session was my best.
In turn
I replied:
Your message
really cheered me up. At the moment I am full of self-doubt in terms of my
work. My only consolation is that all the artists from the past that I really
admire have gone through the same period of questioning many times over. It's a
very painful process, but I suppose necessary. The very essence of creativity
is conceiving something different to what has gone before. It would be easy for
me to paint the pictures like the ones that I've painted in the past, but I'd
be stuck in a repetitive groove. Please bear with me.
But I
do need feedback, not necessarily to tell me how great I am, but to know that
my work means something to someone out there. Remember: The function of art is to calm those who are disturbed and to disturb
those who are calm.
For
three months I have given every ounce of my creative zeal to my sculpture of
Annabelle. No: truthfully, the work in
progress didn’t take three months; it took fifty years! With the exception of
the three comments below, the silence has been deafening.
It’s beautiful (Annabelle, Model)
It’s beautiful (Alwin Bully, The Caribbean’s Distinguished
Cultural Icon)
It’s beautiful (Ella Belle Rose, Supermarket Cashier)
I am touched by
the repetitive simplicity of these comments, particularly as beauty relates to
love, which is where the varied backgrounds of the observers found common
ground.
Today’s 20 minute, 16" x 20" watercolour is one from my last session with Pearl and the reason for my self-doubt.