After spending the last few days reading through old diaries I realise that my life has been one love affair after another, whether it be the girl in my arms, the boat beneath my feet or the painting before me. A romantic life is invariably an uncomfortable one but the discomforts that condemn such a life for many are the attractions that attract it to the few. My life has been fated towards those attractions.
The photograph was taken in 1973 at the start of a voyage from the Canary Island to the Caribbean. Nothing could appear more idyllic: Blue sky, a gentle trade wind and my five year old daughter waving to the boat astern. It says nothing of storms in the Bay of Biscay, a north-east gale off Portugal and an Atlantic crossing that lasted five weeks.
The girls in my arms have likewise brought their share of happiness and pain. And to that you can add seven children from my three marriages. Thomas Campbell (1777-1844) says it all in his poem "Freedom and Love". It begins:
How delicious is the winning of a kiss at love's beginning...
But by the second verse he warns:
Yet remember, 'midst your wooing, love has bliss but love has ruing...
As one endearing love and muse was fond of telling me: 'tis true Roger, 'tis true.
Making art, like making love, is 99% passion.
The artist's
experience lies so unbelievably close to the sexual, to its pain and its
pleasure, that the two phenomena are really just different forms of one and the
same longing and bliss. (Rainer Maria Rilke)
Drawing from my series A Portrait of Alice
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